Bring me the heater!
At any time of day, I'm one of the following: cold, tired, or hungry. But mostly cold. Soooo, why am I always cold? I swear, my Chicago upbringing has cursed me incapable of being uncomfortably chilly in anything below 75 degree weather. (You'd think it would toughen me, but alas, fake news.)
So, yes, I'm always freezing; it's truly a condition. You'd think I would've moved to Florida at this point, but the downside is, uh, Florida. And if you need us, we'll just be over there in our parkas in the middle of spring. GIVE US WARMTH OR GIVE US DEATH! Not to be dramatic or anything...
If you need us, we'll just be over there in our parkas in the middle of Spring — plus the other not-so-cool (pun intended) struggles of feeling like you're in the Arctic 24/7.
1. Inside is just as cold as outside.
What is going on in restaurants, museums, and movie theaters in the summer? Is this a cruel evolutionary prank to phase cold people out of the genetic pool?Turn down the AC, for crying out loud.
2. We own way too many sweaters.
Eighty-seven percent of the world's cardigan purchases are made by us. You're welcome, Banana Republic.
3. We live in hot tubs.
Hot tubs and saunas > pools and oceans. That's just a fact.
4. Winter socks are just socks for us.
Yes, we wear them all the damn time.
5. Speaking of winter socks...
Those babies are packed front and center in our airplane carry-on.
6. And speaking of airplanes...
We immediately turn off the AC knob that's blasting directly into our face as soon as we take our seats.
7. Similarly, we hate everyone who doesn't turn off their AC knobs.
Especifically the overheated, sweating, tank-topped dude next to us. Can you just... not?
8. We have space-heaters under our desk.
Even though it's against company policy. Screw that — we're cold!
9. We don't park outside.
We will pay an exorbitant rate for the indoor parking lot because we can't even from December through March.
10. We will fight you over the AC knob.
Your home and car AC temperature has turned into the Temple Mount: constantly battled over.
11. The only thing getting us through is hand warmers.
We have those instant heat hand warmers just, like... laying around our house as though they were ponytail holders. We can't get enough of them.
12. Open windows > AC.
Not even a contest.
Andrea Zimmerman is the editor-at-large at Yourtango. She enjoys reading, traveling, and reading while traveling. She lives in Chicago with her husband and three-legged cat. Follow her @angiecat86 on Instagram.