The simplest gestures often make the most impact.
Knowing how to be more romantic becomes easier when you first understand some basic facts about love.
Decades ago, Cornell University professor, psychologist and psychometrician, Robert J. Sternberg developed a concept called the triangular theory of love.
It's based on the idea that love is comprised of three basic components:
- Intimacy: "feelings of closeness, connectedness, and bondedness experienced in loving relationships:
- Passion: "drives that lead to romance, physical attraction, and sexual consummation"
- Commitment: "in the short term, the decision that one loves another, and in the long term, the commitment to maintain that love"
When you’re in a marriage or relationship long enough — and when I mean long, I mean any length of time past the honeymoon phase — trying to maintain a healthy balance of these three facets can be challenging.
Men, I know we often feel that taking her on a spare-no-expenses vacation or purchasing an extravagant gift is the best way to maintain peace within your relationship or marriage.
But in reality, if you create a habit doing little things for her, those simple gestures will do more to keep your love alive than any one-time fancy trip or present ever will.
So, if you want to know how to be more romantic with your girlfriend or wife, here are 15 ideas for sweet gestures she'll love.
1. Give your love notes some pop
The great thing about a love note is that it takes some thought. You can make it extra fun by secretly putting it in a place where you know she will look but won't be expecting it.
To give your love note a little extra kick, purchase a unique laser-cut pop-up card from Lovepop. As far as greeting cards go, they're on the expensive side, but they're a game-changer.
2. Steal a kiss
The dictionary definition of stealing a kiss is "kissing someone in a quick and sudden way." What can be more romantic than that?
It lets the woman in your life know that she's desirable to you no matter what she's doing.
3. Compliment her when she’s looking
When your wife or girlfriend is looking in the mirror, she wants her outer appearance to match (or be better than) her inner beliefs.
Giving her a compliment at that very moment can enhance or even boost her own feelings of confidence and self-love, in turn boosting her feelings of intimacy, passion and commitment toward you.
4. Do something around the house you don't normally do
Taking time to do a little more housework lets her know that a balanced life is important to you.
Make sure she can take time for herself by picking up some extra slack.
5. Make a decision
Women like being included in the decision-making process, but does she really need to make all of the decisions for both of you?
Being decisive can be very romantic, as it shows a woman you know what she needs and are willing to take care of making things happen.
6. Surprise her by showing up at an important event
Being flexible and showing up for her when she needs you will let her know she is your highest priority.
7. Put your phone down
You know how you feel when she makes it her mission to please you? Women need the same thing.
When you are communicating with your wife, make it a no phubbing zone. Take that time to be in the present with her and leave the electronic devices elsewhere.
8. Prepare a hot bath for her
This can help reduce the daily stressors our work life can give her.
Don’t forget the bath salts oils and wine.
9. Tell her she’s right
Telling your wife she’s right is less about giving in and more about validation.
Acknowledging her words helps her feel heard and understood.
10. Look at the stars together
Things like this help put things in perspective.
How great it is to look at such a huge universe and reflecting together on the small part the two of you play in it?
11. Tell her why you love her
It's rewarding not only for you but for your your wife as well when you can clearly express the reasons why you love and chose her.
This lets her know your feelings are sincere and heartfelt.
12. There is nothing better than a husband’s touch
According to Aaron Ben-Zeév Ph.D., touch plays a crucial role in generating and enhancing love.
People feel more satisfied in relationships when physical affection is a significant part of the relationship.
13. Watch your favorite comedy together
Since laughter is a supportive activity, the more you can laugh together, the closer you will feel.
14. Say "I Love You!" more creatively
It's an interesting way to show your love in this new world of texts and emojis.
You could put the words in a painting, or better yet, put a love note in a bottle. Creativity keeps passion alive.
15. Tell her you're there for her
Let her know she can always depend on you without worrying about it.
Tell her explicitly that you will stand by her when she needs support, ready to be a great teammate.
Then make sure you hold yourself to it.
If you're in a marriage or relationship long enough, you can forget that it's simple gestures that keep love alive.
Putting some of these easy, extra romantic ideas into practice often enough will ensure she knows she is cared for, cherished and a priority in your life.
Keith Dent is a certified relationship coach who helps couples make marriage and living together better, as well as the author of "In The Paint: How to Win the Game of Love". Visit his website to schedule a free 30-minute consultation.