Count your lucky stars!
With Valentine's Day here, it's a reminder that it's also Singles Awareness Day. Like you didn't already feel bad enough about being single, right?
But this year, you don't need to wallow and bring yourself down just because you aren't in a relationship.
Because, believe it or not, there are plenty of great reasons to be single on Valentine's Day, and even better reasons to be confident and happy about it.
Think about it: If you were in a relationship for Valentine's Day, you may end up being one of these three types of unfortunate couples:
1. The couple who's lost that loving feeling
The first thing to keep in mind is that those couples you see "celebrating" on Valentine's Day are not all necessarily happy or confident. Many of them celebrate out of a feeling of obligation or see it as a burden.
And while they may temporarily rekindle some embers, problems typically go deeper than flowers, candy, jewelry, or a date can fix. Rather than feel sad for yourself for being single, be happy you are not part of a spark-less couple.
2. The couple who is desperate not to feel alone
Other couples celebrating this socially enforced holiday are simply two people coming together because they each feel desperate for a date.
They didn't want to feel like the stereotypically sad and lonely single, or they want to prove to an ex they are still desirable and hopefully convince themselves of the same thing in the process.
If you've been there before, this is the year to happily rise to a new level.
3. The couple who barely knows each other and feels awkward, but knows they still have to do something
These are brand new couples who feel so awkward as February 14th draws near because they have yet to define their relationship. The man takes the financial plunge on flowers, candy, jewelry, and dinner just to avoid screwing up.
This, in turn, may cause even more discomfort down the road if she reads more into the gifts than he intended.
Be happy you have 11 more months to magnetize a well-defined relationship before Valentine's Day next year.
Confident, happy couples don't need a contrived holiday telling them to celebrate their love.
Truly happy couples celebrate their love every day. They are made up of two emotionally healthy people who are confident in what they bring to the relationship. Both appreciate the qualities and quirks of the other, communicate effectively, and share the same values.
They understand and adjust to each others' personality styles, which most couples fail miserably at. They make time together and time apart from one another a priority, and they protect each other and their relationship even during challenges.
Be happy you have this time with yourself to build your self-confidence, self-respect and healthy self-image. You can begin to feel more confident regarding your status as a single this year by separating the truth from the hype.
There is a small percentage of truly happy, confident couples celebrating their undying love on Valentine's Day. The rest are simply stressing out, spending money they don't have, and trying not to screw it up. The man usually does what he thinks is expected, knowing she may still feel let down.
Playing into this game of socially mandated gestures, gifts and words is emotionally dangerous, as it reduces self-confidence and self-esteem for men and women alike. So, be happy you are not in one of these awkward or bitter couples. Truth be told, many of them would rather be you.
You can become the confident woman you're meant to be while still being single. In fact, women who do the work to get there while they are coupled up sometimes end up growing in the opposite direction of their partner. This is because she magnetized someone who was attracted to who she was rather than to the self-assured woman she is becoming.
You have the opportunity to do your personal self-esteem work now, which means you will be likely to attract a man who has done his inner work also. An entirely different quality of man will respond to you when you have a solid foundation of self-confidence.
A healthy, happy couple is comprised of two healthy, happy, and confident singles who join together in order expand their lives.
You have a tremendous amount of power within you to magnetize the level of relationship you want and deserve. You just need to pop it open and start using it to your advantage.
Kelly Rudolph, founder of Positive Women Rock, is a relationship coach. She takes women from stuck and stressed, to clear and confident by showing them how to tap into their inner power.