Consider this before bringing him home.
The holiday season is upon us, and it really makes us start to think seriously about the state of our new relationship. There's never one good answer to the quandry about including your new boyfriend in family and holiday festivities, because we live in a time that is filled with alternative situations.
Hopefully, in addition to relationship advice you've been listening to, these questions can help you make a reasonable decision about whether or not you should bring him home to family Thanksgiving, traditions and all!
So, ask yourself:
1. How long have you been dating?
Has it been 1 month, or 9? The shorter the time period you've been dating, the more likely it is that you'll have a different guest at next year's family dinner. So, consider whether or not this is going to make things hard on you, him, and your family.
2. How committed are you?
If one or both of you is dating other people, the automatic answer is no. Don't choose one of your boyfriends to invite to dinner. Go yourself and keep the mystery and competition among your men alive.
3. Is he really serious about you?
Ask yourself that question (honestly) before you decide whether or not you should subject your family, and him, to such a meeting. If he's opened every area of his life to you in a short time, and also made it clear that you're exclusive, time spent dating is less important. If you're not sure, err on the side of just spending the day with you and your family.
4. How formal is your family?
If your family is very non-traditional and open, you shouldn't be sweating this decision. Leave it open to him, and know with comfort, that it will be fine either way.
5. What's your life stage?
The younger you are, the longer the dating time is required to request major holiday family time from your man. Chances are, if you're in your 20's, he has a family Thanksgiving to attend to. Expect and respect that. If you've been dating over a year, then it's time to consider an invite. If you're in a life stage where you're ready to get married and so is he, than an invitation to meet your family could be expected.
Whatever you decide, remember that if you're together forever, there will be many Thanksgivings to come, and what happens this year, probably won't "make" it, but it could "break" it!
Jaime Richards is a dating coach for marriage-minded professional single women, and a matchmaker for men.