Whether it’s an existing partner or someone new, you want to impress between the sheets. Learn how not to cum fast and give them the time of their life!
You’re in bed with a sexy woman who wants nothing more than to pounce on you. Of course, you’re feeling it too and you can’t wait to rock her world. However, you have one little problem: stressing over how to not cum fast. It’s a common issue and something most guys worry about, but luckily, help is at hand.
Of course, hitting your peak quickly isn’t necessarily a problem, but you want to spend more time with your partner having passionate sex.
You also want to impress her and cumming after a couple of minutes probably isn’t going to do that.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to impress her, but if you think premature ejaculation is uncommon, you’re very wrong. Most men experience premature ejaculation at some point in their lives. So, you’re not alone in this. Don’t worry! [Read: 12 amazing things you didn’t know about semen]
More importantly, it is totally something you can overcome, which is exactly why you’re here. You want to learn how to not cum fast, right? So, if sexual intercourse lasts less than a couple of minutes, it’s considered premature ejaculation. In that case, you need to turn your attention to a few hints and tips to last longer… way longer!
[Read: How to last longer in bed: A man’s guide to go from zero to hero]
What causes premature ejaculation?
Before we get down to the practical side of it, it’s important to know a little background information. What exactly causes premature ejaculation?
It’s important to point out that if you experience this just once or twice, it’s really nothing to worry about. It happens to most guys occasionally and as long as it’s not a prolonged issue, you shouldn’t really focus on it too much.
But, if it’s happening a little more regularly or you know that as soon as you get into bed with a new girl you’re going to have issues, it’s a good idea to learn how not to cum fast and boost your confidence. [Read: Premature ejaculation: Don’t cry over spilt milk]
The most common causes of premature ejaculation are:
1. Stress and anxiety
If you’re struggling with something in your personal life, this can often overspill into your sex life too.
Are you having a rough patch at work? Are you worried about money? Is something going on in your family setting? Are you simply a bit stressed out and can’t quite put your finger on why?
These are all potential reasons for not lasting the distance between the sheets. The good news is that by figuring out your stressor and working to reduce it, the problem itself should reduce too.
2. Low self-esteem or poor body image
If you don’t have the best view of yourself, it’s going to affect your confidence and your ability to prolong sex. Now, learning to love yourself just the way you are is a journey but it’s one that is never a waste of time.
That gorgeous girl is in bed with you, doesn’t that tell you something? She wants to be there! Believe it – she wants to have sex with you. If that doesn’t boost your confidence, we don’t know what will. [Read: How to build self-confidence: 16 ways to realize you’re worth it]
However, in many cases, having a poor body image can really affect a guy’s ability to have sex in the way he would like. Work on your relationship with yourself and move towards self-acceptance.
3. A lack of sexual experience
If a guy hasn’t had a lot of experience in the past, it could be a reason why he cums a little faster than he’d like. The good news? It will get better in time and you can learn how not to cum fast in the meantime. With experience comes confidence.
4. A fixation on not cumming quickly
Sometimes, worrying about the problem actually makes it happen. If a guy is focused on not cumming quickly, he’s probably going to cum quickly. You’re literally manifesting the issue into your life!
Relax, focus on the moment, or better still, focus on her, and by taking your mind off the worry, you’ll soon start to notice that you last longer. [Read: Why do we suffer from premature ejaculation]
5. A biological problem or medication
Less likely is a biological problem. we’ve put it on here because it can be the reason but it’s less likely than the other ones we’ve already mentioned. Most guys struggle with premature ejaculation at some point and there is nothing anatomically or biologically wrong with them. Some men also find that the medications they’re taking can have this effect.
However, if you’re worried and it’s been going on for a while, a quick chat with your doctor should alleviate your worries.
6. Your masturbation habits
Are you stressed for time almost all the time, especially when you rub one out in the morning or late at night? Okay, if you’re a teenager and trying to squeeze in masturbation and ejaculation in under a minute, maybe that’s excusable *though that’s not healthy for you in the long run*.
If you constantly try to ejaculate within a couple of minutes when you’re masturbating, just to get done and get back to whatever it is you’re doing, this could be showing up in bed when you’re with a woman. If your body is used to a quick orgasm all the time, it can’t help but look for a quick release when you’re in bed with a woman as well.
After all, a quick masturbation session alone equates to a quick ejaculation when you’re in bed with a woman!
[Read: The 13 types of penises women love… or laugh at!]
How not to cum fast: 18 effective ways to stay hard for longer
There are tons of ways you can work on yourself to last longer and keep your partner satisfied. It’s time we got started.
But before we do, it’s important you know it’ll take some time for you to overcome it. It’s not going to happen overnight or by masturbating once. So, keep your chin up and by doing that, something else will stay up for longer too! [Read: The best ways to prevent premature ejaculation]
1. Communicate with your partner
When it comes to sex, communication is key. You should let your partner know how you feel, and if they’re doing something too intense for you.
Your partner wants to have a good time with you, meaning they want to make the sex last. So, don’t be afraid to communicate with them about how you’re feeling. [Read: Average time for sex – How long we want vs. how long we last]
2. Be mindful of how you’re feeling and what’s happening
Are you always ejaculating prematurely? Or is this something that’s started to happen recently? If so, what’s going on in your life outside of the bedroom? Did you get a new job? Are you stressed out with school? How are you feeling overall?
It’s likely that you’ll identify the cause by asking these questions, but simply being more mindful of your feelings can often yield results.
3. Look at the root problem and get to fixing it
What’s the root problem of your premature ejaculation? In the last point, we mentioned being mindful of how you’re feeling and that will help you to identify the issue.
Once your figure out why you ejaculate prematurely, it’ll help you deal with it. Do you have performance anxiety? Are you on medication? Reflect on what goes on in your body and mind when you’re having sex. [Read: Weird penis? 10 freaky behaviors that are actually normal]
4. Mix things up a little – Change positions, tempo, and angle
There are certain positions, tempos, and angles that are easier for you to keep things together and reduce the overwhelming feeling to climax. But you’ll need to experiment on what positions work best for you.
Everyone is different when it comes to what they sexually enjoy. The good news is that experimenting is fun!
5. Try male Kegel exercises
Women aren’t the only ones who have pelvic floor muscles. As a man, you also have them.
So, to strengthen them, practice male Kegels. The pelvic floor muscles are what you use to stop your pee in mid-stream. These are the muscles that can help you control yourself from ejaculating. [Read: 15 technical hacks to push harder and last way longer]
6. Deflect the attention away from you
If you keep thinking about how you’re close to ejaculating, chances are you’re going to ejaculate soon. So, take your mind off of yourself.
Focus your attention on your partner. This will help you forget about your ejaculation and give you some time to calm down. It will also give her a fantastic time and she’ll be extremely impressed by your selflessness.
7. Female-focused foreplay is the way forward
If you’re feeling anxious or thinking you’re about to ejaculate, switch to female-focused foreplay. Spend some time focusing on performing oral sex and other intimate activities, removing the need to have penetrative sex at that time. When you’ve calmed down, then have penetrative sex, or go back to it. [Read: 10 foreplay moves every guy needs to try on their ladies]
8. Practice orgasm denial
When you’re having sex or while you’re masturbating, practice orgasm denial.
This means when you’re just about to orgasm, stop what you’re doing completely.
Then, begin having sex or masturbating again to the point of climax and stop again. If you want to learn how to not cum fast, keep doing it until you can’t do it anymore. Over time, you will build up a tolerance and have more control.
9. Experiment with toys
Toys have really come a long way, and there’s literally something out there for everyone. You can experiment with different toys, such as love rings that are worn around the penis during sex.
The love ring restricts blood flow and allows the man to last longer. [Read: How to use a cock ring – YOur guide to rock hard orgasmic bliss]
10. Masturbate
If you want to overcome premature ejaculation, then practice. You don’t need to be with your partner to overcome this. Instead, practice while you’re masturbating. [Read: What does a cock ring do? How to put it to work the right way]
While you’re masturbating, practice orgasm denial. It’ll help you improve your endurance and help you out when it comes to having sex. [Read: How to “edge” yourself and extend sexual pleasure]
11. Also, try masturbating a couple of hours before sex
This is an excellent way to not cum fast. But you need to test this a few times and see the exact timeframe that works for you. Around 1 hour to 6 hours before you think you’re going to have sex, masturbate.
Guys aren’t quite as quick to go again as women are, so having ejaculated on your own, you’ll probably notice that you last much longer and feel way less sensitive when you’re thrusting hard and fast in bed with the girl for well over 30 minutes.
12. Are you taking any medications?
If you’re not having any sexual anxiety *at least, from what you know*, then you should ask yourself whether the medication you’re taking can affect your sex life. If you’re taking any medications, some of the side effects can affect your performance.
13. Try wearing a thick condom
Some men find wearing a thicker condom helps them last longer. Well, not some men, most men.
This is because it acts as a barrier and prevents the man from really feeling the inside of the vagina. Of course, you should be wearing protection anyways, but try wearing a thicker condom next time so you feel less sensitive inside her. [Read: Condom types and how they can improve your sex life]
14. Try deep breathing
You’re probably wondering how you’re going to start trying yoga in the middle of sex, but it’s not yoga per se, it’s just pausing when you’re inside her and taking a deep breath right when you feel the sensation building to ejaculation. This is enough to turn your attention away from the ejaculatory reflex, which could be enough to stop you from blowing your load too soon.
15. Try girl on top
We mentioned positions earlier but one which some men find very useful is the girl on top. That means when you’re close to cumming, you can signal your girl to pull away. Of course, that also means you need to communicate the issue with your partner, which is something you should be doing anyway. [Read: Sex positions guys love: 12 easy moves that’ll make him want more]
16. Try distracting yourself
Again, it’s hard to do but you can try and take mental breaks during sex and turn your mind away from sex. It takes some doing but it’s possible!
You can continue to have sex with her whilst you’re doing this, so she’s none the wiser and has no clue. But just as you feel like you’re about to cum, try to think of something else that’ll distract you and make your manhood shrink just a little! You can think of your shopping list, something work-related, or all the way to something gross like poop if that helps you!
Time this right, and you should be able to stay rock hard for a really long time!
17. Try the ‘squeeze’ method
When you’re having sex and you feel like you’re about to cum, stop and either you or your partner gently squeezes the head of the penis until you lose the erection. You can do this a few times, as many as you need, but be careful not to squeeze too hard! [Read: What do women really think about your penis?]
18. Just keep practicing
If there’s one thing you’re going to need to do, it’s to practice.
You’re not going to overcome premature ejaculation overnight, as much as you’d wish that would happen. You’ll need to experiment with what works for you and then stick to it. You will see a difference.
[Read: 20 moves to last longer during sex without any difficulty]
Now that you know how not to cum fast, you’ll need to practice. It won’t happen right away, but you’ll notice yourself getting better and better with each try as you use these different ways.
Liked what you just read? Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life.
