It’s A Bummer That Grey’s Anatomy Vet Ellen Pompeo Hates The ‘Pick Me, Choose Me, Love Me’ Scene, But I Totally Get It

It’s A Bummer That Grey’s Anatomy Vet Ellen Pompeo Hates The ‘Pick Me, Choose Me, Love Me’ Scene, But I Totally Get It

Ellen Pompeo was part of several iconic moments on Grey’s Anatomy, delivering a number of quotable lines in her 19 seasons as the show’s lead. One of the series' most classic moments came back in Season 2, when her character Meredith Grey begged Patrick Dempsey’s Derek Shepherd to, “Pick me. Choose me. Love me,” rather than give his marriage to Addison another shot. Pompeo was famously “horrified” by that scene, and while I completely understand her reasoning, it’s still kind of a bummer.

Grey’s Anatomy veterans Ellen Pompeo and Katherine Heigl reunited for an Actors on Actors interview with Variety, and the Izzie Stevens actress brought up how fans still quote dialogue from the show to them. For Pompeo, she gets that McDreamy scene from one of Grey’s Anatomy’s best episodes, “Bring the Pain,” and she recalled being so embarrassed by Meredith’s display, saying: 

Listen, I don’t know if you remember that I fought that speech so hard. That’s another really interesting thing about life — some things that I was so against, and I was like, ‘I can’t beg a man on TV! This is so embarrassing.’ And then it turns out to be one of the most famous scenes ever.

When that episode aired back in 2005, viewers saw it as the writers likely intended it to be: Meredith at her most vulnerable, putting all of her feelings out there for Derek and telling him that he was exactly what she wanted. However, knowing how strongly Ellen Pompeo opposed that scene, it honestly takes a lot of the appeal away from it for me. Now I can’t help but see it through the actress’ eyes, and I just don’t want to see Meredith’s big moment as a huge show of insecurity.

Is it possible that’s how the next generation of Grey’s fans will also see that scene? Ellen Pompeo said her daughter apparently references that quote in a way that paints Meredith in a less-than-flattering light. The actress said: 

So, OK, this is a real thing. My daughter and her friends, they sit around and they’re like, ‘Oh, she’s a pick me girl.’ … I’m like, ‘What’s a pick me girl?’ They were like, ‘You know, girls who are like, Pick me, choose me!’ And I’m like, ‘Hello?! Do you know who invented the pick me girl?’

That quote also played a big part in Ellen Pompeo’s final episode as a series regular, in which she refused to beg Nick Marsh (Scott Speedman) to follow her to Boston.

Ellen Pompeo really isn’t wrong. Meredith had no business begging for Derek’s love back in Season 2. We tend to forget that Derek was … not great to Meredith in the earlier seasons of the show, and it’s just such a bad look for any woman to beg a man to leave his wife for you — even if Addison did cheat on McDreamy with McSteamy.

It’s somewhat disappointing that one of Grey’s Anatomy’s most iconic scenes was so strongly disliked by the actor delivering the famous lines, but that doesn’t mean anyone has to stop enjoying the monologue. The first 18 seasons of the medical drama can be streamed with a Netflix subscription, with Season 19 being added on June 17. While we wait for Season 20 to premiere on ABC, check out our 2023 TV schedule to see what shows are coming soon.