Homoromantic: The Basic Facts on What it Means & How to Understand It

With the different sexualities today, it can be confusing to understand what being homoromantic is. Keep reading to find out more about this unique love.

With all the different sexualities and romantic orientations being discovered all the time, it’s difficult to keep up, but it’s important that you do, so you can understand yourself and others around you.

Otherwise, this might hold you back from connecting with people and you could potentially offend someone. You wouldn’t want that, would you? While being a homoromantic isn’t something you hear often, it’s always existed. 

[Read: The big list of sexualities and the 15 main types you need to know about]

What is homoromantic?

Homosexuality is probably one of the most common sexualities known all over the world. It means being attracted to the same gender. In the same sense, homoromantic is similar to homosexuality where you’re attracted to the same gender.

The only difference is that romantic feelings are involved in this case. You can be romantically attracted to someone without being sexually or physically attracted to them – and being homoromantic is proof of that. Don’t worry if you feel confused and overwhelmed at first, as this is normal. 

Now, some people use homosexuality as a term that means you are attracted to your same gender in all ways, but that’s not completely accurate. Just like you can be sexually attracted to someone without having any romantic feelings for them, this also works the other way around.

If you’re confused on why you feel a strong romantic pull towards someone of the same gender without wanting to engage in any physical intimacy, you’re probably a homoromantic. [Read: How many different kinds of romantic orientation is there?]

Understanding what it means to be homoromantic

Homoromantics can actually feel attraction to the same gender but this term is typically used when they only feel romantically attracted for them. Meaning, if someone is asexual but they have romantic feelings for their own gender, they’d be homoromantic. From the word itself, this word refers to romantic feelings for the same gender without any regard for physical aspects.

Heterosexuals can also be homoromantics when they have romantic feelings for the same gender. In this feature, we’ll be listing the characteristics of what it means to be a homoromantic. 

1. You can be heterosexual and still want to date someone of the similar gender

If you’ve been homoromantic your whole life and you’re only realizing this now, it’s why you feel strange in your dating life. You might think of yourself as unusual for only feeling romantic attraction for the same gender without any physical attraction, but I guarantee you’re not.

Many people who later realize they’re homoromantic often have trouble with their sexual identity simply because of their own confusion.

For instance, if you experienced falling for your best friend of the same gender but don’t want to get in bed with them, this is what being homoromantic is. [Read: 16 myths and truths about aromantics]

2. This term is often used with asexuality

Contrary to popular belief, asexuals are very much capable of romantic relationships. They might not feel anything sexually and physically, but they’re definitely capable of feeling romantic feelings for someone. Just because they don’t want to get frisky with someone doesn’t mean they don’t want that love connection.

The main reason being homoromantic is confused with asexuality is because the concept of asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to anyone. It also explains being gay or lesbian minus the physical attraction. 

3. Wanting a romantic relationship is not the same as wanting a sexual one

The problem with our world today is that a lot of people think of a romantic and sexual relationship as the same when they’re entirely different. A sexual relationship requires physical intimacy whereas a romantic relationship requires both mental and emotional intimacy.

If you’re in a relationship with someone, the ideal is that you want to have sex with them and be emotionally intimate as well. However, this standard doesn’t apply to everyone as not everyone gets attracted the same way.

In the case of homoromantic individuals, they want all the lovey-dovey feels and the emotional ties of a relationship without the sex. This doesn’t make the relationship any less amazing or less real just because one aspect is missing. [Read: How to understand who you really are as a biromantic or bisexual]

4. You can ONLY want romance with someone without the sex

Other people might think it’s impossible to want to be romantically involved with someone without wanting to get naked and touch each other. This concept might seem foreign to you but if it works for others, why not? While physical intimacy is just as important as romantic feelings, it’s not everything.

Especially if you’re a homoromantic, your feelings aren’t defined by your ability to cross sexual boundaries with someone. Many people are only interested in romance without the sexual aspect that comes with it. 

5. Being in a solely romantic relationship while being sexually active with someone else is still cheating

The same rules still apply as a homoromantic as it does with your average type of relationship. If you think this is a loophole to cheat, think again. Just because someone isn’t sexually attracted to a certain person but is still in a romantic relationship with them doesn’t mean they can still have sex with someone else.

Cheating is cheating, no matter what sexuality you fall under. Unless this is the dynamics of your relationship, and both of you are open to the possibility of an open relationship or something similar, you can’t have sex with someone else. [Read: The debate on cheating and confessing]

6. Many often date other homoromantics

This is mostly because in this case, sex is off the table. Most people aren’t comfortable with the idea that they’ll never have pleasurable sex with their partners.

Even if they try to accept it at first because of how much they love and adore their partner, it eventually becomes too difficult if you’re not a homoromantic or asexual yourself.

Homoromantics date other homoromantics because they both understand each other’s wants and needs and it makes the relationship work out better. It’s highly possible to have problems in their sex lives if a homoromantic chooses an average person as their partner instead of an asexual or a fellow homoromantic. 

7. The relationship focuses on bonding and emotional connections

While all relationships should have these traits, it’s the main connection for homoromantic couples. There’s a natural friendship and compatibility in the relationship because of the focus on mental and emotional intimacy.

Whether it’s talking about everything under the sun or actively showing their affection for one another, they don’t hesitate to do so. To compensate for the lack of sexual intimacy, they more than make up for it in other aspects.

Because of the extra time and wants of each person, these relationships are very deeply rooted and tend to be a lot healthier when it comes to having an emotional connection. [Read: 14 steps to build a deeper emotional connection with someone]

8. You can still have a loving, healthy family

Just because someone is homoromantic doesn’t mean they don’t want a family.

There are so many ways to have a family other than by having sexual intercourse with the opposite gender, such as adoption, surrogacy or external fertilization as well, to name a few. Even as a homoromantic, you can still have a beautiful and amazing family in a way you choose to have. Their sexuality makes relatively no difference in their life when it comes to family. 

9. You can still date homosexuals

There are no rules that say that just because you’re a homoromantic, doesn’t mean you can’t date a homosexual. In fact, you can date whoever you want. As long as you’re in a happy relationship, nobody should get to say who you should and shouldn’t date.

Just because homoromantic individuals aren’t interested in sex doesn’t mean all of them choose not to partake. You never know, the love of your life might be a homosexual, but you just haven’t met them yet. The possibilities are endless as a homoromantic in the dating world.

If their homosexual partner doesn’t get bothered by the lack of sexual intimacy in the relationship, then the relationship can work. It’s really a judgment call on their part and something they discuss when being together. [Read: How to know if you are gay with all the signs you can’t ignore]

10. It’s just a part of who you are

Just like homosexuality shouldn’t be a big deal, the same goes for homoromantic. It’s the way you love and get attracted to others and you shouldn’t be judged for that as it’s who you are.

Nothing else about your life will change other than you realizing there’s a reason you’re not sexually attracted to the one you’re madly in love with romantically.

Your dating life might change, but that’s okay as it’s a good kind of change. Think of it this way – you get to be your most authentic self when you realize and understand you’re a homoromantic. [Read: Your guide to understanding an aromantic asexual person]

So, are you a homoromantic?

If you feel like you resonate with the majority of the points mentioned above, you might be a homoromantic. You don’t have to shy away from being homoromantic or hide the truth, especially when it explains so much about the way you develop relationships and the kind of people you get attracted to. 

Being homoromantic has more to do with building an emotional and mental connection than anything else. Understanding what being homoromantic is can help you see just how complex human desires really are.