Country singer Sara Evans reveals she has reconciled with her husband, Jay Barker, after he was arrested for alleged assault.
The “Born To Fly” singer, 53, made the admission during the first episode of her new podcast, “Diving in Deep with Sara Evans,” more than two years after she filed for divorce from the former football player, 51.
“We’re so happy now, but I don’t want anyone to think that I’m advocating staying in a relationship where you are ever, in your gut, you know that you need to exit the situation,” Evans said Thursday. “Every woman needs to follow her gut on that and do what is best for her. I believe and I hope that I’ve done that.”
The “Pride” songstress, who wed the radio personality in 2008, initially filed for divorce in August 2021.
She filed for divorce from Jay Barker in 2021. 7jaybarker/Instagram He was the quarterback at the University of Alabama in 1993. Getty ImagesThe following January, Barker was charged with felony aggravated assault with a deadly weapon after he allegedly attempted to hit Evans’ car with his own.
He entered a “best interest” plea to a misdemeanor charge of reckless endangerment and served one year of probation, per AP.
During the podcast, Evans detailed the alleged incident, revealing that she and Barker had gotten into a verbal fight earlier in the day “because he wasn’t getting his way.”
That night, he bombarded her with text messages blaming her for the demise of their marriage while she was at a friend’s house with one of her daughters. Evans shares Audrey, 19, Olivia, 21, and Avery, 24, with ex-husband Craig Schelske.
In 2022, he allegedly tried to hit Evans’ car with his. 7jaybarker/Instagram He was charged with felony aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. Getty Images“A friend of ours was driving me [home]. We were getting ready to pull into the driveway, and [Barker] had a verbal altercation with my child, who had never seen that side of him, ever. And it scared the s–t out of her,” she explained.
“Then he jumped in his truck, and he [was] sort of backing up at a very high speed. I knew Jay, so I didn’t feel the same way that my child felt. My child thought he was gonna plow our car down, that he was backing up towards our car, and that she was about to watch something horrific, or at the very least, an accident, which would have been his truck hitting my side of the car, where I was in the front seat,” she said.
Her daughter called 911, but Barker had driven away by the time police arrived. When he returned home, he was arrested and spent a night in jail.
“I just felt so ashamed and so stupid, and my child was so mad. But you know that she was standing there thinking, ‘He’s about to hit my mom with a truck.’ I don’t know how close he got honestly, and I don’t know what it looks like to her. But I heard her scream so loud,” Evans went on.
The mother of three said the incident was “terrifying” for her daughter. saraevansmusic/Instagram “My child thought he was gonna plow our car down,” she revealed on the podcast. saraevansmusic/InstagramExplore More
“I really did not think that he was trying to hit our car. I think he was trying to back up as fast as he could to see who I was in the car with, to see if I was with another man. And my child thought, ‘He’s gonna run into them.’”
The “Suds in the Bucket” singer said she reconnected with her husband a few months later when he sent her a text, which read, ‘Everybody says that I shouldn’t contact you, but you are still my wife.’
“A lot of women will judge me and want to judge me. When he said, ‘But you are still my wife,’ I don’t know. I just melted because I thought, ‘I am still your wife, and we can talk if we want to. We’re both adults,’” Evans said, noting they “tiptoed back to each other.”
Elsewhere in the podcast, Evans said she hid Barker’s “abuse” from her kids.
The couple reconnected when he texted her several months later. Getty Images However, the road to reconciliation hasn’t been easy. Christopher Polk/ACMA2011“I think I started realizing, ‘We’re in abuse. We’re using abuse in the marriage.’ I didn’t want to admit that, and I don’t think he saw it as that,” she said, noting that Barker took “advantage of” the fact she was “very submissive” throughout their marriage.
She explained that a “horrible” fight in July 2020 was the breaking point for their relationship, leading her to file for divorce.
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“I just did not want to divorce again and start over,” Evans said, referencing her split from Schelske in 2007.
“I just pictured myself being alone and missing him and thinking, ‘We could’ve tried harder.’ But it took me filing for divorce, I think, for him to realize, ‘Oh s–t, she’s serious. This is it,'” she added.
The singer insisted that Barker is now a “completely different person,” and she’s “happier than [she’s] ever been.”
One of Evans’ daughters told Barker, “‘You have such small shoes to fill.’ And he failed,” the country songstress explained. Sara Evans/Instagram She insisted that Barker is now a “completely different person.” Getty ImagesHowever, it took “a few long, really difficult discussions” between Barker and her daughter for him to be accepted back into the family.
“She said, ‘You have such small shoes to fill.’ And he failed. And that killed him,” Evans said.
“But we’re all Christians, and I’ve taught my children to forgive. My three children have forgiven him and we’re all back together. Every day we thank God that we didn’t split.”
If you or someone you know is affected by any of the issues raised in this story, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text START to 88788.
