I want someone who's worth my time, not someone who's wasting it.
By Brittany Christopoulos
Trying to find someone in this generation who actually wants to date is hard. It’s as though the old saying — all the good ones are taken, married, or gay — rings true.
Sure, it’s easy to find someone to chit chat with or to entertain yourself and pass the time. But to find someone who actually wants to have something meaningful is extremely difficult.
I don’t want someone who vaguely asks me to hang out without defining what that actually means. Is it a date? Is it just a hookup? Are we actually leaving the house to hang out for once?
I’m just so over the constant wondering. Why can’t I find someone who’s honest enough to tell me they want to take me on a romantic date or that they just want a sleazy hookup? That way, I can be the one to make the decision rather than take a leap of faith and risk my safety and heart.
I couldn’t care less about the cheesy, cliché, and predictable lines you’ve used a thousand times. I’ve heard them all and more.
Instead, I want to hear what truly lies inside of your heart, even if it comes out awkward or seemingly wrong. I just want to hear your truths and vulnerability.
And if it’s corny, even better. Because I love that stuff.
Furthermore, I don’t want to be hidden by the person I’m dating or being treated like a dirty little secret anymore. Take me out and show me off to the world by simply holding my hand or giving me a kiss.
If people see it or hear you tell me, “I love you,” I don’t care. That’s so much better than having your family and friends not know I even exist.
I don’t want someone who will pretend they care about me, even though they actually don’t. Nor do I want someone who will pretend they’re fine when they’re actually mad at me.
I want someone who can communicate with me clearly and show me that they genuinely care. That’s far more attractive than someone who can’t be honest about their feelings.
I want someone who won’t hesitate to call me when they need comfort. Or, someone who doesn’t push me away when they feel scared about being vulnerable with someone.
Sure, it’s absolutely normal to be frightened, but we can conquer those fears together as a team. Cry on my shoulder, scream at me until it’s out of your system. I will understand and help you through it.
Similarly, I don’t want someone who hides their past from me, because they’re terrified I’ll judge them. I couldn’t care less about your past as long as you’ve learnt from it and changed for the better (unless you committed murder).
Tell me your awkward stories, the ones that make you feel bad, and the ones that are compelling even if you’re embarrassed. I want to understand your baggage and help you carry it.
Also, I don’t want someone who is perfect or someone who pretends to be.
I want someone who will allow me to see their flaws, their raw emotions in the heat of the moment, and their sensitive and romantic side. I want someone who wants to spend as much time as he can with me, because he just can’t get enough of what we have together.
Truthfully, I’m over mixed signals and all that. I’m over guys who think these are necessary parts of dating. I can’t fake it through another pointless conversation that’s leading nowhere or a date that’s clearly not the type of date it was implied to be.
I just want someone who tells me how they feel when they’re feeling it. Someone who makes me feel valued and respected, and someone who genuinely doesn’t want to waste my time.
Brittany Christopoulos is a writer who focuses on relationships, dating, and love. For more of her dating content, visit her Twitter page.
This article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.