Feeling Defeated? 15 Ways To Overcome Feeling Stuck and Lost in Life

Feeling defeated and lost in life without knowing what to do and where to turn can make you feel stuck. Here are ways to overcome this tough feeling.

Feeling defeated is part of human nature, but that doesn’t make it easier to deal with. When you feel defeated, you also feel lost, overwhelmed, confused, and afraid. It’s in this circumstance you can’t help but dwell on your insecurities and flaws. No matter what caused this feeling, it takes a lot of courage and resilience to get over this.

When feeling defeated, what you need to remember is that it won’t last forever. It might feel uncomfortable and difficult for the time being, but it’s not a feeling that’s meant to stay for a long period.

[Read: Feeling like a failure? How to find your will & change your mindset]

What causes this feeling?

Feeling defeated can be caused by a multitude of things, often by failure, rejection, or inadequacy. Maybe you tried your best, but even your best efforts weren’t enough. Or, maybe you weren’t able to reach your goal. As normal as feeling defeated is, that doesn’t make things easier to deal with.

If anything, it makes you feel stuck with this difficult feeling. What causes this feeling is even when trying to do your best, it still wasn’t enough. This is enough to make you feel lost and prevents you from trying altogether. You think that since you failed, why bother trying again or why bother with anything?

You feel defeated because your perception of your inadequacy becomes so strong that it prevents you from being hopeful of the things to come. [Read: Getting over rejection: How to bounce back in no time]

We all feel defeated at times

Defeat happens when you give something your all, and you don’t obtain your goal. That is a really hard thing to accept.

If you feel like it isn’t just one goal that you can’t get to, but a series of them, then it makes you feel stuck. If you don’t think anything good ever happens in your life, no matter how hard you try, you could end up feeling stuck in a state of defeat.

However, failure can also be beneficial at times. We never like to admit defeat when failure arises, but sometimes, we can’t help it. Failure helps you become better and rise above your failures so when you’re stuck feeling defeated, realize that it doesn’t define you *and it never will*. 

How to overcome feeling defeated

Life is like a marathon. You can’t just stop in the middle and lay down. You simply can’t. You will get trampled on, the police will tell you to move, and eventually, you will have to do something. We are dealt what we are dealt. We either pull ourselves together, shake ourselves off and try again, or we stay defeated.

We can never control everything we get handed in life, but we can control our reactions. You will feel defeated over and over again, but it’s how you overcome feeling defeated that will define you. [Read: Weak men and strong men – 13 opposing traits that split them apart]

If you want to overcome defeat and start to believe that success is just one step away from defeat, here are a few things you always need to remember.

1. Make smaller, more realistic goals

Sometimes, you begin to feel defeated because you set goals way too high and unrealistic. There’s nothing wrong with setting high expectations unless you feel overwhelmed by it. Setting high expectations is a good thing, but it will lead you to fail if you’re putting too much pressure on yourself.

It’s a more realistic approach if you go easy on yourself and adjust your goals and standards. Maybe, instead of attempting a massive goal, divide it into simpler goals and steps that don’t feel too overwhelming all at once. [Read: How to succeed in life – All you ever need to know]

2. Reward yourself

If you never recognize a good job done, you start feeling defeated. You must look at the positive side sometimes.

Have gratitude for the things you did right instead of criticizing yourself for the things you did wrong. You might not have gotten the results you expected, but you still did something. It’s important to acknowledge that, even if it’s only one step of many in your pursuit of success!

3. Recognize that EVERYONE fails, it’s a part of learning

Everyone fails—every single person in the world. That is the only way we learn and grow. You can’t escape failure since it’s a natural part of life to help you become a better version of yourself. If you didn’t ever fail, you wouldn’t learn how to do things right.

If you feel as if you are in the defeat boat alone, know that we ALL feel defeated at times in life. Realize that everyone struggles with this, and everyone can overcome it. [Read: How to stop feeling overwhelmed and start seeing hope again]

4. Try, try, try again

When you feel defeated, the hardest thing to do is to pick yourself up and try again, but that is exactly what you have to do. Determination is the key to overcome feeling defeated.

If you’re feeling defeated because things didn’t work the first time around, that isn’t a reason to give up.

In fact, it’s a reason to try even harder the next time around. You can’t expect results and success in your first try, but it’s after your first few tries that you eventually get better. So never stop trying, even if it’s so easy to give up. [Read: Feeling stuck in life? How to change directions and live your dream]

5. Ask for help

It’s human nature to choose pride over asking for help. We always assume we can handle things on our own without any form of help. But sometimes, it’s also unrealistic and painful not to ask for help when needed.

Asking for help doesn’t mean you failed or that you couldn’t do it on your own, it means you were smart and courageous enough to get help from those around you instead of beating your head against the wall when help was available. It takes courage and bravery to ask for help from others, especially if you’re not the type to do so.

6. Analyze your history

Do you feel defeated often? If you experience an overwhelming feeling of defeat, it might be that you have a negative outlook on life. There are some of us who have a tendency to dwell on the things that don’t go well instead of seeing the things we have going for us.

Consider changing your mindset and outlook if you want to stop feeling defeated and become stronger mentally. Realize that you can always choose to look at the glass as half-full instead of letting your tough emotions get to you. [Read: How to let go of the past and be excited about the future]

7. Have an overall plan

If you can’t seem to achieve your goals, then maybe it is a problem with not having a clear plan. If you don’t have a plan to get to where you want to be, how do you ever know where you are going?

As boring and dull as creating plans are, being organized is the best way to overcome feeling defeated. Take the time to step back, look at a situation, and prepare a preemptive strike instead of just striking out. In this case, maybe going at it spontaneously isn’t the best approach if you already failed once. [Read: How to start over and win – 12 keys to finding your second chance]

8. Stop comparing yourself to others

Everyone’s progress and pace are different, so you can’t keep comparing yourself to others. One of the reasons it’s easy to feel defeated is because you keep comparing yourself to others, which never works out in the end. Don’t gauge your successes by comparing yourself to someone else.

The only way to grow and mature is to do better than you did last time, instead of worrying about always beating out someone else. By focusing on your own path, you’ll go places in life. [Read: 20 habits of incredibly happy people that can help you find your happiness]

9. Try something new

If you feel defeated, it is time to switch gears and do something else. It doesn’t make any sense to keep trying to do something that doesn’t work. If you don’t want to fail, stop doing things that set you up to do so. If plan A doesn’t work, then have a plan B.

Don’t keep trying the same thing repeatedly when you know what the outcome is going to be. Don’t be afraid to think outside the box and find a different approach. You never know, that kind of creativity is all you need to get to your goal. [Read: Feel better about life – 16 small steps to feel great again]

10. Face your emotions

We’re all guilty of trying to escape from our darkest and most terrible emotions, but you can’t keep distracting the pain. It’s never going to work in the long run and even if it does work temporarily, you’re just turning it into repressed emotions.

The best way to overcome feeling defeated is to just feel every bit of your emotions and sit with it. Don’t escape, don’t run away, and don’t avoid it further. It’s one of the most difficult things to sit with your emotions, but it’s necessary.

11. Be kind to yourself

We will always be our worst critics and while that’s understandable, it’s not helping you overcome feeling defeated. The more you criticize your flaws and insecurities, the less likely you will get through this situation.

Remember always to be kind to yourself no matter what and talk to yourself the way you would to a friend.

What would you give if your best friend came to you and told you they were feeling defeated? Now, go say the same advice to yourself. If you wouldn’t be so harsh to others, why would you do it to yourself? [Read: How to be kind to yourself & others and love life instead of hating it]

12. Do something you love

When we’re feeling defeated, we feel stuck and lost in life. You don’t want to do anything, and you’re just left feeling hopeless and defeated no matter what you do.

It might take a lot of energy even to do the things you normally enjoy, but you have to try. Use your hobbies and interests to your advantage to at least get out of bed and do something – anything at all. You owe it to yourself to show up and try to overcome this feeling.

Do you love working out? Hit the gym! Maybe you’re passionate about art? Visit the museum with your friends! You need to do something that doesn’t involve dwelling on your feelings of being defeated. [Read: How to find your passion – 13 secrets to seek it in simple things]

13. Take it one day at a time

It’s easier said than done, but you can’t force yourself to achieve your goals overnight – it doesn’t work that day. The same way you probably wouldn’t work if your mental health got bad, the same goes for accomplishing success. Take it one day at a time, and don’t rush the process.

Stop considering what everyone else thinks; what do you think? Your progress and achievements will be much better if you take it one day at a time instead of just forcing yourself to get back on track almost immediately. *although that can work too!*

14. You define who you are

Are you going to be defined by your failures and rejections? Or, are you going to be defined by your ability to get back up every time you fall? You’re going to experience several failures in your life, with this being one of them.

Will you let yourself fall apart after each one, or will you let them shape you into someone better? At the end of the day, the only person who defines who you are is yourself. [Read: Self-concept – What it is and why it’s crucial to your happiness]

15. Shift your mindset

Your mindset is everything when it comes to feeling defeated, so all it takes is a shift in mindset. Not to promote toxic positivity, but you really need to look at the bright side of things. There will be situations where it’s okay to sit with your sadness first.

But there comes a point when you need to get over it and move on with your own resilience and strength. Your mindset is the most powerful tool you have. So will you let it break your future successes, or will you let it mold you into someone stronger and better? The choice is all yours.

So, are you feeling defeated?

It happens to even the best of us and even if we’re used to dealing with difficult emotions, it never gets easier.

You just get stronger and better because of it. You can never avoid failure and rejections entirely, but what you can do is use it as an opportunity for growth.

[Read: How to think positive and reprogram your mind to stay positive]

Feeling defeated, as hard as it might seem, will pass, just like the weather. It’s not meant to stay for long, but it’s meant to make you grow.