You might wonder why you’d ever think of dating multiple people. But it happens and can even be healthy! Here’s everything you need to know about this.
The phrase dating multiple people sounds like you play people, or that you can’t commit. But, the reality is that once you are married, guess what? You are married. If you are young and way too attached to one person, it might be time to consider dating multiple people to find out if you found the right fit.
Not to condone cheating in any way but in dating multiple people, we’re referring to dating when you’re not yet exclusive and committed to anyone. This can be beneficial if you just got out of a relationship, or in finding the right person for you.
We don’t often do this, which is why it’s easy to end up with the wrong person. You never got to explore multiple options before committing to just one.
Why is it okay to date multiple people?
We often have the notion that there’s only one person for us – and that’s it. However, dating multiple people allows you to date different personalities, mindsets, and characteristics. When you really like one person, even after dating various people, you know what you feel is real.
It also allows you to get the full spectrum of love and the limitless possibilities in your dating life. This isn’t to say that committing to one person casually is bad, but it can restrict you from seeing what’s out there. Especially if you’re already married, then that’s it.
You’re committed for life, and you aren’t allowed to explore other possibilities. Compare this when you give a chance to date multiple people, then you might be surprised by the people you meet and develop connections with along the way.
Can you handle dating multiple people?
Look, as great as this all sounds, it’s not for everyone. If you’re someone with a more traditional or conservative perspective, you might not be able to handle this. You should only date multiple people if you’re comfortable doing this, if not, you’ll dwell on your guilt or shame afterward.
Don’t do this if you’re going to feel bad every time you go out with different people *you’ll drive yourself insane if this is the case*.
It takes a strong stomach to be able to handle the repercussions that come with dating multiple people, and it’s not as perfect as it looks. With that being said, it’s still an experience you should try at least once in your life. [Read: What is casual dating? And how to know if you can handle it]
How to date multiple people?
The first general rule is not to develop feelings. Of course, feelings aren’t the worst thing in the world, but things can get messy, especially in a complicated thing like dating many people at the same time. However, not developing feelings doesn’t mean it should just be purely sex for all of them.
You’re allowed to get to know their personality and mindsets. *that is the point of all this, isn’t it?*
Don’t just sleep with them, but get to know them as well! Another obvious thing to keep in mind is that there’s no need for you to kiss and tell about the other people you’re seeing and dating to the person you’re with.
Even if they know and are okay with the setup, they don’t need to hear you flaunt about your other dates with other people. If you want to avoid any kind of mess in dating multiple people, then be honest from the start.
Should you tell them you’re seeing others as well?
Don’t say you’re looking for something serious when you’re not. All you’re doing is getting their hopes up for something that might not even happen. [Read: 10 casual relationship rules to keep it just casual]
Let them know you’re dating other people as well, and that you intend to continue dating others until you decide to get exclusive with one person and stop dating other people.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, and it’s better to be truthful about this, than date others behind their back. Chances are, they’re doing it too.
These days, dating multiple people isn’t taboo, and almost expected from everyone else. You’re not committed to each other. Nor have you had “the talk.” You’ve just started getting to know each other and are still in the talking stage. [Read: What is the talking stage and how to progress to the next stage]
Keeping all of this in mind, it’s almost silly to devote your heart and body to one person, who in all probability, may be going on dates with other people without telling you about it.
Why dating multiple people is essential to find the right fit for life
Just like shopping for clothes, you try on a lot of dresses to find the one that fits. It isn’t just about how you look in it. It is about how comfortable you are in it, how strong the material is, and whether it is your style or not. If you only try on one dress, how will you ever know if another one might have looked better?
1. You only live once; YOLO
You only get one go around on this earth, or at least that is the most common belief. If you only date one person, you limit the number of people you get to know and have a good time with. The concept of finding “the one” is so strewed that we obsess over it unnecessarily.
There’s no “the one,” but the person that comes close to that definition is the person we have the most chemistry and compatibility with.
But in reality, there are multiple possibilities with developing connections with not just a single person. After all, there are 7 billion people in the world and more, so why limit yourself to just one when you’re still trying to see if they’re the one? [Read: 15 ways to live life to the fullest]
2. Comparison shopping is always the best
How can you compare if you’re focused on one person? Of course, if that’s what you prefer, that’s fine. But if you want to explore multiple possibilities before committing to one person, you’ll find that comparison shopping can be amusing when dating multiple people.
When you date multiple people, you compare and contrast how they handle things, which one you have more fun with, and which one you think about most of the time. Comparison shopping is essential for finding the best match.
3. If you stick to one person, you might get stuck
Sometimes when you date only one person, there is a natural order to things. What I mean is that there are steps that you are expected to take. As a result, it’s easy to feel stuck in a relationship. It’s possible to have thoughts on whether you made the right decision by committing to them or if there are others more suited for you.
By dating multiple people first, you eliminate these thoughts of what-ifs since you basically experience for yourself what it’s like to date multiple people. [Read: 9 relationship stages all couples have to go through]
4. You’re too young to get serious
Being young is about trial and error and finding out what you want and who you are. If you date the same person throughout your entire childhood, how do you know that there isn’t someone better suited out there that just might pass you by? Being young is about experimenting, dating people, and getting a better understanding of what exacting you want and need in a relationship.
Experiment the hell out of relationships while you have the chance. Ask any person that married the first person they got in a relationship with, and they might tell you the opposite of what they did. This is because as beautiful as commitment is, it’s not ideal if you’re young.
A commitment will restrict you from enjoying many things in life and limiting yourself to one person only gives you one perspective, compared to the multiple possibilities you can have by dating several people.
5. You aren’t sure what you want
If you don’t know what you want yet in a significant other, all the more reason why you shouldn’t restrict yourself from dating multiple people. Look around and find out what you want out of life, and that is about exploring the many fish in the sea to find out which one you want to swim around with forever after.
This might be your best chance in finding the one person who’s most aligned with what you want in a partner, after all. [Read: What is casual dating and how to know for sure if you can handle it]
6. Your relationships always seem to get too intense too fast
If you’ve never been single because you always seem to have a boyfriend or girlfriend, then this also means you can’t stand being alone. Maybe you’re too attached with the idea of having someone *or anyone for that matter*, so you’re always committed to someone.
When you date multiple people, you aren’t relying on someone to be your everything. You are your own strength, and the people you come to know are accessories—not your everything.
Being monogamous or a serial dater doesn’t make you a better person morally all the time. Sometimes, it just makes you fearful, of being alone, and of the unknown of not having someone to lean on. [Read: The biggest signs you’re a real serial monogamist]
7. You know in your heart you aren’t ready for a commitment
If you know that this is not the time for you to commit for life and you don’t feel ready for a real relationship, don’t limit yourself to one person and one relationship alone. It isn’t fair for you to only be with one person if that isn’t what you want or are ready for.
Don’t feel pressured to be in a relationship just because you have to, but commit only because that’s what you want. Until you’re ready, you can use that time to date multiple people and get the best experiences out of life. [Read: 19 real signs you’re ready for a serious relationship in your life]
8. You don’t want to lead someone on
The worst thing you can do is lead someone on when you’re never going to commit in the first place. You keep delaying things and using excuses like “we’re just getting to know each other” or “I need a little bit more time,” when in fact, you already know in your gut that commitment isn’t your priority right now.
If you aren’t sure that the person you are currently with is the right one for you, dating multiple people lets them know they are free to do the same and tells them where your head is at. If they can’t take it, then they aren’t the one for you. [Read: Cushioning and why this dating tactic just makes you a jerk]
9. You are at your sexual peak
If you are at your sexual peak, enjoy the ride. The valley isn’t as much fun. Being young is about exploration and memories for a lifetime. Involved in that is reckless abandonment *with a condom, of course!*.
Don’t forego those fun times by getting too serious too fast. They won’t ever be back again. After all, we’re only young once – shouldn’t we get to enjoy the ride? [Read: Why every girl needs to date more than just one guy until she gets serious]
10. You just got out of a super bad relationship, don’t settle for a rebound
This is one of the most common reasons why people go around dating multiple people. Maybe you just got out of a toxic relationship, and you need a breath of fresh air. You can’t do that by jumping into another commitment, but you can only do that by dating several people *just to see what you’ve been missing*.
The rebound person is never the right one, and not dating multiple people after a bad breakup can have you making poor decisions that potentially alter the rest of your life.
If anything, you might just end up projecting your heartbreak into the person who really happens to like you if you go looking for a relationship after a bad relationship or breakup. As we said, dating multiple people can be healthy at times!
So, should you date multiple people?
Dating multiple people isn’t for everyone, so it may or may not be for you. Traditional or conservative people tend to lean away from dating multiple people. However, if you aren’t ready for commitment or just got out of a bad relationship, it’s never too late to try dating around.
It’s not a commitment as long as you make it clear you’re seeing others as well, so nobody gets hurt! Don’t limit yourself by sticking to just one person, especially if it’s not something you’re ready for just yet.
By dating multiple people, you can see for yourself what’s out there before you commit to one person for a significant period of time, or your whole life!
Emotional heartbreak makes us do some pretty stupid things. Give yourself some time to heal before you get too serious again.
Dating multiple people isn’t always so bad, especially if it helps you find the right person in the long run. If you’re not ready for commitment, then you’re not ready.