How to Stop Obsessing Over a Girl: 15 Steps to Stop Losing Yourself

You met this girl, think she’s amazing, but now you want to know how to stop obsessing over a girl. Keep reading if you’re curious about the secrets how.

We’ve all been in this situation. You meet someone, and then your whole world just flips. All you can think about is them. Is it exhausting? For sure, after all, you’re spending all your energy and time on them. So it’s essential to learn how to stop obsessing over a girl. No matter how perfect you think she is, she can’t be that perfect.

Also, constantly thinking about a girl 24/7 drives you a little insane, don’t you think? Also, an obsession isn’t necessarily an attractive trait for anyone. All it shows is desperation and neediness rather than anything else. And that honestly would push away any girl instead of bringing her closer to you!

[Read: Obsessive love – 15 ways to tell if it’s real or just unhealthy]

Why do we obsess over someone?

There’s an old idiom that says, we want what we can’t have. So if you’re wondering why you can’t stop obsessing over someone, it’s because you can’t have them. Also, both infatuation and love are strong emotions that make you think about someone all the time.

You’re chasing after an idea in your head where this crush becomes something real and until this happens, obsession is what happens.

Also, the more you end up stalking them, the more you end up thinking of them and obsessing over them. It’s normal to feel this way, but we wouldn’t say that it’s exactly healthy. [Read: 33 steps to stop thinking about a girl you like but can’t have]

Why should you stop obsessing over a girl?

You like her and you can’t stop thinking of her. Now there are two scenarios to this.

One, you think she likes you back, so you spend all day thinking about this crush.

Secondly, you like her and she doesn’t like you back. So now your only option is to move on, and as hard as it is to stop thinking of her, you know this is the only way forward for you. Perhaps, she’s dating someone else, or she’s told you that she isn’t interested in you “in that way.” If you know for sure that there can never really be a chance of a relationship or a hookup, for whatever reasons, you need to move on for good.

On the other hand, if you’re pursuing her and see a slim chance that she may be interested in you, it’s more important than ever to take a step back in the scale of obsession. You don’t want to scare her off, do you?

And worse, when you’re so deep in your own head, it’s not easy to play it cool or even impress her. Instead of appearing friendly or smooth, you’d just end up looking creepy and weird. And you definitely don’t want that! Give this guide on how to talk to a girl and completely impress her effortlessly if you want to play it cool and impress her.

But first, if you want to stop obsessing over her, read on for all the steps you need to follow right now.

How to stop obsessing over a girl and get out of the love trap

Women are pretty irresistible, don’t you think?! Well, at least the one you are obsessing over is.

And you probably feel like you are a prisoner in your own mind because you can’t get her out of your head. Don’t worry. Here’s how to stop obsessing over a girl. [Read: How to get over a crush and have fun doing it]

1. Become selfish

When you’re obsessed with a girl, your life is focused on her. Everything you do is because of her, and you stop living your own life. So, to remove her from your head, you need to become selfish.

Being selfish doesn’t make you a bad person. Sometimes, it’s a necessary move if you want to know how to stop obsessing over a girl.

If you’re not selfish and focused on self-care, then you end up in the position you’re in now. But if it’s in your nature to be giving and generous, you might have to try a little harder to be selfish. [Read: How to focus on yourself – 27 ways to create your own sunshine and impress anyone]

2. Tell her how you feel

We don’t know where the obsession came from, maybe she’s been your good friend, or maybe she has never actually spoken to you.

But if you confess your feelings for her, this might ease some of the things you feel for her that’s been built up over time. Don’t do it over text or the phone, do it in person.

You need to be able to see her face and reaction – this is important. If she feels the same, great for both of you! If not, you can finally stop obsessing over her and move on. [Read: How to tell a girl you like her and not come across creepy]

3. Don’t be around her

Okay, so you didn’t get the response you wanted. It happens. Now, if you want to know how to stop obsessing over a girl, you need to clean the slate. The first thing to do is to remove her from your life. Space is the main thing you can give to yourself to stop constantly thinking about her.

This also means refraining from going to places that remind you of her, whether that’s her favorite coffee shop or anything else. If it’s not possible to cut her off completely, at least reduce your interactions. [Read: Are you boring her? 20 signs she’s clearly not interested in you]

4. Stay away from social media

This is a big one. Just don’t torture yourself by staring at her new selfie. You need to protect yourself and move on, so the best thing you can do is unfollow her on all social media, at least until you’ve moved on. When you’re trying to forget someone, social media can be a real pain in the ass.

So if you want to know how to stop obsessing over a girl, get away from social media. Stop stalking her accounts and liking her photos. That’s not helping, you know? [Read: How to get over someone you love – 14 steps to get you there ASAP]

5. Don’t text her

You may still want to keep a connection with her, but honestly, it’s pointless. She doesn’t want to be with you, so why are you still bothering her?

If you two were friends, then this is different. You should only text someone you have a real chance with so if she already rejected you, what’s the point?

You’re only hurting yourself further by doing this. You may think you can be friends with her, but you can’t, at least not right away. Though you may not realize it, you’re basically going to be dealing with a withdrawal. [Read: How to stop texting someone when that’s all you want to do]

6. Clean up

This is highly effective for just relieving stress and unburdening your mind. Clean up your room, do your laundry, shave your beard – clear the clutter. If you want a clean mind, you need to make your space look like your mental state.

There’s a reason why the concept of minimalism is so popular nowadays. If you want to learn how to stop obsessing over a girl, then clean your space and everything around you. *yourself included*

7. Look at why you like her

Why do you actually like her? Is it because she’s hot? Has a big ass? Has a warm personality? What is it about her that makes you fall to your knees? If you want to move on, you need to see the qualities in her that you like. That way, you’ll be able to find them in someone who actually wants to be with you.

When we like someone and they reject us, we tend to think there’s nobody else like them out there. However, we learn eventually that we’re wrong. So look at the qualities you like in her and find them in someone else, someone who can hopefully reciprocate your feelings. [Read: 15 signs she’s just leading you on and taking you nowhere]

8. Hope dies last

Hope is literally the last thing to die, but you cannot be hopeful if you wish to forget about her. Don’t think, “oh, what if she changes her mind,” she won’t – at least not now. And if she does in future, that’s not of your concern right now.

What if that day never comes? Are you really willing to wait forever? You need to continue living your life and then if she comes around, great, if not, great again. [Read: How to remain hopeful while dating & not let heartaches stop you]

9. Start talking to other women

Just jump right in and talk to as many women as you want. You need to get over this obsession, and the best way to do it is to see the positive qualities she had in other women.

By getting yourself out there, you can move on faster and learning how to stop obsessing over a girl. Even if it feels uncomfortable and uninteresting at first, you should go ahead and talk to other women. [Read: How to make a girl miss you – 16 sweet ways to win her back]

10. Talk to your friends

Guys don’t usually talk to their friends about this stuff, but you really should speak with one of your good friends about this. They may have experienced something similar, so they’ll be able to help you get over her.

Especially if your friends have adequate experience in moving on and dating experiences, all the more reason why you should seek their advice and help. You’ll need friends during this time, and they’ll know how to distract you. [Read: How to let got of someone you love by hating them]

11. Do something that keeps you focused

Start doing things that you’ve always wanted to do but never had time to. Now that you’re not spending all your time focused on her, you’ll be able to focus on yourself. Take a class, go to a basketball game, play video games – whatever makes you happy.

Treat this as a breakup. It’s crucial to keep yourself busy during this time so you’d be thinking of her less and less. [Read: How to forget about a girl – 15 ways to forget she even exists]

12. Take them off their pedestal

It’s really easy to place someone on a pedestal when we really like someone, especially if that person doesn’t like us back. So it can be helpful to look at their flaws and negative traits. That way, you take them off their pedestal and realize they weren’t so perfect after all.

It can even reveal a few red flags about them you never noticed in the first place. After all, love can make you so blind that you end up thinking they’re perfect when clearly, they’re not! [Read: 17 relationship red flags that most people completely ignore]

13. Focus on improving yourself

This might not be a breakup, but you might as well treat it like one. So if you want to stop obsessing over a girl, focus on your personal development.

So work out, hit the gym, take a dance class, go away for the weekend, read books, do whatever it takes to improve yourself. When you improve yourself, it helps shift the focus from the girl that rejected you to yourself. And you become a much better version of yourself at the same time, as well. [Read: How to improve yourself – 16 powerful secrets of self-improvement]

14. Don’t let their rejection define you

Rejections and failures are both parts of life, but you can’t let them define you. So if your crush rejects you, let them. It just means they weren’t the right person for you.

Take it as a lesson and as a motivation that you’re just one heartbreak closer to meeting the girl you’re truly meant to be with. So don’t be disheartened! [Read: The most positive ways to deal with rejection in any scenario]

15. Find out why you’re obsessing over her

There are many reasons why you end up obsessing over someone you admire. Asides from the fact you can’t have her, it can also be internal. Maybe you’re afraid of being alone or have a deep urgency to be in a relationship. Neither of these is healthy, and it’s why your crush turned into a full-blown obsession.

If you want to learn how to stop obsessing over a girl, look within and take it from there. Heal from the things that need healing and face whatever problem you’ve been avoiding.

[Read: Relationship advice for men – 22 tips to make you a better partner and a better man]

So, how to stop obsessing over a girl?

You can stop obsessing over her with any of these tips we’ve shared here. It’s easier said than done, but if she rejected you, or you see no future together, take it as a sign that she’s the wrong girl for you and move on.

What good will obsessing over her do, anyway? It won’t change her feelings for you, that’s for sure.

Now that you know how to stop obsessing over a girl, try to work through it. With these ways, you’re a step closer to stop losing yourself and gaining complete control again over your life.